Feedback isn't a gift. It's a practice.

We've all been told that feedback is a gift. It's a lovely sentiment — and a slightly lazy one. Gifts are optional. Feedback is not.

If you manage people, feedback is part of the job description, not an act of generosity. The risk with the gift metaphor is that it lets us off the hook on the days we don't feel like wrapping it up nicely.

A more useful framing: feedback is a practice. Like any practice, it gets sharper the more you do it, awkward when you skip it, and most powerful when it's regular and low-stakes — not saved up for the annual review.

Three small shifts that help:

1. Make it routine, not eventful. A 15-minute weekly 1:1 with a single 'what went well, what I'd change' beats a 90-minute quarterly review every time.

2. Separate behaviour from identity. 'When you interrupted Maya in the standup' is workable. 'You're not a team player' is not.

3. Invite it back. The fastest way to normalise feedback is to ask for it on yourself, in public, and act on one thing.

Feedback isn't a gift. It's the muscle that holds a team together.